


If I fell

by BrokenHalos



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon Gay Relationship, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Endgame, F/F, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Happy Ending, Internalized Homophobia, Jealousy, M/M, Resurrection, Reunions, Season Finale, Season/Series 15, Season/Series 15 Spoilers, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:21:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27526834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrokenHalos/pseuds/BrokenHalos
Summary: Dean has just lost Castiel and now he, Sam and Jack are facing the biggest threat that anybody has ever had to face before. Can Dean come to terms with his feelings about Cas? Can they defeat Chuck and break out of the story. The Winchester's are known for breaking the rules but is it enough to defeat God himself? Oh and God's sister Amara.It all started then, but it's finishing now.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Kaia Nieves/Claire Novak
Kudos: 24





	1. Carry That Weight

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter is mostly just Dean's inner monologue about what has just happened, I may be slow to post but I will finish it eventually. Enjoy xx  
> Tell me if you want more, feedback is apricated. :)

"I love you." He trembled. "Goodbye Dean" Castiel went to grab Dean's shoulder, pushing him to the wall and out of the way of the Empty. There he stood with a smile on his face, impending black tendrils speeding towards him. This was right, this is how he goes out. Metatron's words echoed in his head, ultimately it was all about saving one human. At least he got to tell Dean how he felt, see him one last time before he was taken...now he can finally rest.

The swirling black tendrils shot past him and he heard Billie’s scream from behind him. _Dean Winchester is saved_. He thought to himself. He didn’t need Dean to say it back because Castiel had said enough for the both of them, this was where his story ended, where it was always going to end, all he felt was relief as he was enveloped by darkness.

Castiel died with a smile on his face.

Dean Winchester sat on the cold floor of the bunker with his head in his hands, reality had only just caught up with him and without even realising he was sobbing uncontrollably, it was more shock than anything. During Castiel’s confession Dean had quite literally been rendered speechless. I mean what was he supposed to say? Then the emotions came flooding in, if he hadn’t been crying out of grief before, he was now. “Cas...” Was all he could manage. He ignored his brother calling, it could wait. Dean replayed the scene over and over again in his head, analysing it and feeling a jolt of pain deep in his chest and stomach when he thought about Castiel’s speech, his face his eyes and his scent, like leaves after rainfall in the crisp spring air.

He wanted nothing more than to go back in time and grab Castiel and never let go, The Empty be dammed. “Jesus fuck-Cas.” He exclaimed for reasons he couldn't explain. “Fucking Christ shit.” His mouth now overflowing with a litany of swear words, was he going through the five stages of grief already? “No no no come back come back no please.” He started begging. Holy shit he was! His phone started ringing again and this time he picked it up and smashed it against the floor repeatedly until his hand bled from the shards of broken glass from his phone screen. “Fuck!” He swore again and stared at his bloodied hand. It’s ok Cas will fix him up...No wait, that’s not right. Cas is gone. Gone because of him, his fault, he killed Cas. Cas is gone and he is never coming back all because he had to go and fuck with Billie. Fucking Cas that self-sacrificing son of a bitch he left, he left and now I’m alone.

Cas died because he loved Dean, wait loved? What kind of love? “it’s something I know I can’t have.” Castiel had said. But he had Dean’s friendship, they were best friends what could he possibly -Oh...A wave of realisation crashed over Dean. “But I’m not gay!” Dean said out loud. Right? Cas was gay? Why did Castiel never tell -Oh. But they were friends, and Cas wanted more. Did dean want more? No, Dean wasn’t gay. He could appreciate a good-looking guy, Doctor sexy, Val Kilmer when he played Doc Holliday in Tombstone, Benny was good looking hell even Clint Eastwood in his younger years, but Cas, Cas was more than good looking. Devastatingly handsome he had once said to a waitress. He had these penetrating blue eyes, dark hair that Dean just wanted to ruffle, full pink lips and stubble, Dean wondered how they would feel ghosting his own lips and how the scratch of the stubble would electrify every nerve ending in his body while his hands gripped Dean’s hips while they desperately rutted against each other. But he wasn’t gay! It wasn’t just Cas’ looks, Dean wanted to be around him all the time, he wanted to hear him laugh, be the one to make him laugh, he wanted to watch old movies and dance to good music, he wanted all of it with Cas. Dean wanted to hear Cas’ sarcastic quips, he wanted to tease the shit out of him to the point where Cas would playfully scowl at him. He wanted to know what it was like to kiss him, to hold him to watch him as he came undone, came undone because of Dean. Fuck. Dean was fucked up, here he was sexually fantasising about his recently deceased friend, and by recently half a fucking hour ago, sick bastard. Now he’s never going to get any of that, because he was a coward, because he never said anything. But Cas did. Yeah, only when he was about to fucking die. Why do good things never happen?

Luckily that little mind rant had distracted him, but now he needed something else to distract him, his old friend Mr. Whisky.

As Dean downed his fourth glass, he heard the Bunker door open and watched as Sam and Jack stepped through in morbid silence. “Dean why the fuck didn’t you answer your phone? I thought something had happened. They’re all gone Dean, everyone is dead...I think it’s Chuck, it was all Chuck.”

Sam gave his older brother a once over. “Dean? Whose blood is that?” Dean didn’t answer he just kept staring at the almost empty bottle of whisky.

“Dean, where is Cas?”


	2. Can't Buy Me Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I feel like if I'm going to finish this I need to write most of it today so I may upload a few more chapters today.  
> Most of this chapter is a short summary of episode 19 in season 15, I have changed a few things around but don't read if you haven't watched it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no notes just spoiler warning

Dean explained everything, the deal, Billie, how Cas sacrificed himself, again. He told Sam and Jack everything, he just left out the part where Castiel confessed his feelings to Dean, no that was his and his alone.

“I’m sorry kid.” Dean rasped brokenly, he then trudged off to the kitchen to get another drink, and another. Sam just sat down at the table, he placed his head in his hands and sighed deeply. 

Jack was staring at the floor; he couldn’t tare his eyes away from the small crack in the hardwood floor. Cas was gone, if he had his powers back then he could just manifest Castiel right now but he was drained. “Cas I’m so sorry.” He whispered.

Days went by, but each day felt like a month and every second felt like an hour. Their confrontation with Chuck did not go well. “We’ll do it, we’ll do it your way the whole Cain and Abel thing! Just bring them all back, bring Cas back.” But God just grinned. “Nah.” he said, malicious intent in his eyes. “We are past that stage. Now I just want you to suffer. Just like Cas is suffering now, for all eternity, all because of you Dean. The best part is; You’re never  gonna see him again.” He clapped his hands like an excitable child and then looked straight at Dean. “What’s the matter Dean? Was there something you wanted to say to him perhaps?” And the shit eating grin appeared again.

Dean growled at God’s comment about Cas but Sam held him back.

“Well boys it’s been fun! But I really should get going.” Chuck disappeared with a snap of his fingers.

They all drank that night.

Dean drunkenly swayed all the way to his bedroom without tripping over, he’d call that a win. He knelt down next to his bed and sat against it, his head swimming with the alcohol. “Cas, I know this is probably too late, man it’s been too late for a while but here goes nothing. I hope you can hear me man I really do because otherwise I’m  gonna be pouring my heart out to a wall heh and that’s uhm yeah. I- when you said that I had changed you, you didn’t realise that you had changed me too. I wouldn’t be the guy I am today without you...all that you have done for me, Sam and Jack. You’ve sacrificed so much and gotten so little back; God Cas I just want you back.” He gasped wetly. “I’ve never had someone who wasn’t related by blood love me so unconditionally before and it scares me man, I mean with Lisa and Cassie...It was- I don’t think I’ve ever felt something so intense and profound before until I met you. I don’t think I ever will again, now I’m not a guy who expresses himself much but I guess it’s easier that you aren’t here to listen because I wouldn’t be able to get the words out right  ya know. Cas I- you know that I-.” Dean swallowed heavily at his next choice of words. “I-.”

“Dean?” He heard his brother call for him. “Dean you there?”

“In here Sammy.” He responded. Sam slowly opened the door; the only sound was the creak as it unlocked and the light from the bunker illuminated Dean sitting in his darkened room on the floor, beer in hand. Sam felt another twang of sadness for his brother and for the loss of his friend.

“Dean, Jack said that he felt something, another living thing apparently.” Dean perked up.

That’s what led them to Michael, he was hauled up in a church somewhere. Adam was no longer there Michael explained, he was all alone.

Dean felt for  Michael a bit, he really did.

They went back to the bunker to come up with a plan to defeat Chuck, the boys were relieved to have a heavy hitter on their team now. But then Dean’s other phone rang, the one he had smashed in a rage had to be thrown away.

The caller ID said Cas and Dean almost had a stroke right there. “Cas?” He answered hopefully. “Dean, I’m alive I- I'm hurt please open the bunker door.” Dean rushed up the stairs and swung open the door, it was all a blur. The face that hid behind the door was not his angel’s, no that was not Castiel, his heart sunk again and he felt like he was getting stabbed over and over  again. Dean immediately slammed the door. 

“That anyway to treat a pal?” Lucifer gasped in a fake offended tone.

Lucifer explained that he needed Death’s book to defeat God, and he summoned a reaper bound in chains.

Dean was pissed but he was glad that they now had two  archangels’ , although Lucifer was not to be trusted.

The new Death was reading God’s death book so they had time to kill. “Jackie!” Lucifer exclaimed and ruffled his son’s hair. “how’s it going buddy? Buddy ‘ole pal. Now daddy isn’t angry at you for breaking his vessel and stopping his plans to walk the earth again, he’s just disappointed.” Jack scowled at him and backed away. 

“Hey back off the kid Lucifer.” Dean warned.

“He’s my kid Dean-o. I never get him on weekends anymore, he’s missing out on some quality father and son bonding time.  Whaddyah say kid, a little cosmic catch with your old man, make a few evil plans here and there?”

Surprise, surprise Lucifer was not to be trusted but luckily, they had Michael and Michael's archangel blade to finish the job, but not before lucifer teased the fuck out to Michael and called him a cuck. That did not sit well with Michael and they then knew that that Michael would try and help Chuck when it came down to it.


	3. Come Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel wakes in the Empty

Castiel had heard the prayer, every word of it and it woke him up, it gave him hope.

“How are you awake again?! I try and I try with you but nothing!” The Empty picked Castiel up again and threw him to the floor. “You’re stubborn, but I will make you go back to sleep don’t you worry.”

It kicked him in the stomach and he gasped in pain. “I need to get back.” He gritted out.

“Why? To see Dean? He doesn’t want you. He’s glad that you are dead. That little confession you made, sweet but I know he doesn’t feel the same way.” It seemed to be trying to mess with him.

“Remember I’m inside your head, I know everything...those dirty little thoughts you have when no one is around, what would he sound like gasping your name? What would he feel like under your touch?” It grinned, basking in Castiel’s shame.

“he doesn’t think of you that way, he never will.”

“They need my help to defeat Chuck.” Castiel struggled as the Empty used its powers to cause him internal pain.

But then the pain stopped, Castiel looked up and saw, Dean.

“I don’t need you.” The Empty said with Dean’s face and that hurt worse than the torture. “You think I ever cared for you? I just wanted you as a weapon. You’re nothing more than a solider Castiel and even you can’t do that right, you fuck up everything you do, even if you think it’s for the right reasons. You’re cursed and I don’t want you, something as broken as you. You belong here Castiel.”

Empty Dean pulled Cas forward by his lapels so their faces were inches apart. “You see now, I was your happiness but you were never mine.” The Empty then threw Cas to the ground again and grinned. A busty, blonde, scantily clad woman stepped over Castiel and started sucking and kissing Empty Dean’s neck as Castiel was forced to watch. “I’ll always pick this over you Cas, I’m not gay and we both know it, even if I was." He spat. "It would never be you.” He proceeded to ravage the blonde.

Castiel felt tears prick up in his eyes but he knew this wasn’t Dean, this would never be Dean. The blonde was gone and Empty Dean stared down at Castiel. “Poor little queer angel, nowhere to go, no one who loves you. You’re nothing. All you can do now is go back to sleep.”

“No.” Castiel stated.

“What was that?” Empty Dean growled.

“No, like I said before the last time I was here, I’m going to stay awake until we both go mad.” He smirked.

“Stupid angel.” It spat. “Everything is loud, your son woke me up and now all I can feel is pain!” It screamed, it’s face twisting and distorting in a way that didn’t look at all like Dean.

“Then expel us, you’ll never sleep again unless you get rid of everyone in here. I need the angels to help against the fight with Chuck.”

“Hmm hm interesting proposition. Do I want you to suffer the rest of eternity never knowing what Dean was going to say oooor sleep?” It pondered for a minute and then looked at Castiel. 

“I’ll tell you what, you can have everyone in here if you convince them to fight with you and if you win-”

“What?”

“Never. Come. Back.” It punctuated every word. “Never come back here again or I shall show you my true form.” 

“Now it’s not going to be easy, you’ve killed and betrayed most of them.” And with that it turned around. “Go on tell them all, tell them, convince them, they can all hear you now.”

“What if I lose?”

“You go back to sleep.”

“Brothers and sisters.” He started. “My name is Castiel and I know in the past I have made some horrible mistakes and it would be unwise not to resent me for them but I am begging for your help. Chuck...God is not who he said he was, he is corrupt and evil, our entire existence was made to fit in a story, his story, and there have been many, he threw worlds away like pieces of paper, all that life gone in an instant. But brothers and sisters I beg of you, help us regain our freedom and fight him so we no longer have to be under his control, so we can finally be free. Stand by my side once more. Heaven is failing, people are suffering. Don’t stand in the darkness surrounded by regret, come with me and be reunited with the world, the light.”

The Empty started clapping. “Rousing speech, but are there any takers? No didn’t think so. Oh well.”

“I will stand with you Castiel.” Castiel turned around. “Hannah.” He smiled as she stood by him. 

“Cute but you’re going to need more than one.”  It smirked.

“I will stand with Castiel.” A familiar English accent rung in his ears. “Hello Balthazar.” Castiel grinned. 

“It’s good to see you, old friend, I see you are no longer an arsehole.” He teased. Castiel really did regret killing him, he would apologise when he got the chance.

“I will stand by your side Brother. Hell, what’s dying one more time.” Gabriel said as he emerged through the darkness. “Never really did like dad all that much.”

Castiel was filled with joy, all these familiar faces that they had lost along the way.

“Hello Castiel, long time no see.” Crowley grinned. As much as Castiel didn’t want to admit it he was pleased to see him. 

“Crowley.”

“I know I’m no angel but I do wish to help.”

Suddenly a chorus of “I will stand by your side and I will fight with you.” Erupted all over the empty. Thousands of angels and even some demons, some of them Castiel did not even know for they had died in wars before his time.

Then someone Castiel did not expect to see. “ Well, I guess if  everyone else is doing it.” He sighed. “I would like to see Chuck pay.” 

“Metatron.” Castiel scowled. 

“Woah hey slow down sparky I’m on your side don’t you worry.”

So, it was decided, the army of allies stood together and before Castiel could even blink he could feel grass, fresh air and the sun on his face. Earth, he was on earth with his army beside him, he realised that he was at full power and his wings had been restored, silently thanking the Empty he turned around to face everyone and inform them properly.

But all he could think about was Dean.


	4. The End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The big fight

There they stood, Michael the archangel, Lucifer’s son and two brothers against God. It took place in a field, of course it did, a big open field. 

Chuck threw them aside as if they were nothing. “Thanks for the heads-up son.” he smiled as he killed his eldest child without a care. “Now.” He said. “You really thought you could beat me?” 

“You’re just two humans, two humans that I created for the purpose of a story, you really believe that you have the power to end it? You will never be free.” 

“We can and we will beat you Chuck.” Dean stated, he didn’t know where he was going with this but he just needed to stall so Jack could power up. 

“Yeah?” Chuck pondered carefully before replying with an amused look on his face. “You and what army?” He replied knowing full well it was an overused line, he just loved the cliques. 

Dean didn’t know how to respond but before he could open his mouth the sound of wings falling echoed behind him. Multiple wings? 

“This one.” A gravelly voice answered and Dean whipped round. 

“Cas!” Dean exclaimed and his heart fluttered. He then took note of an army of people, people? No angels and... demons? Standing behind Cas. That brilliant bastard. They may have a fighting chance after all, this would definitely stall Chuck. 

“This just keeps getting better and better.” Chuck said. “Seriously guys I’m so enthralled right now!” 

Dean turned back to Chuck and gave him his best death stare. 

“But let’s make it fair.” He snapped his fingers and the ground started rumbling. Hands burst through the dew-soaked soil and gruesome rotting, skin and bone creatures pulled themselves through, growling and snarling like rabid animals, hundreds and thousands of them. 

Chuck manifested a chair and a high pedestal to get a good look at the fight, he rung his hands together with glee. “This is going to be good.” 

Before anyone knew what was going on there was a full-fledged battle going on between the angel/demon team and the soil monster team. 

Dean found that shooting them through the head worked, and once he ran out of bullets, he ran to the Impala to get the two scythes in the trunk, he tossed one to his brother who was struggling to fend off three of the things, he saw a bunch of angels had formed a ring around Jack and were protecting him from getting attacked. 

Castiel was by his side, they looked at each other and they both smiled, but Dean didn’t have time to celebrate his return or even hug him because the soil monsters were flying at him from every direction. He slashed and slashed, beheading after beheading then he noticed that Castiel was no longer by his side, he looked around worried. 

Castiel was struggling with one of the creatures as it tried to plunge his angel blade into his chest. Oh, hell no! He wasn’t losing Cas again, he’d sooner die. He pulled the thing off Cas threw it to the ground and chopped of its head. He then extended his hand for Castiel to grab but an angel stumbled into him knocking him onto Cas where he joined him on the ground. There was a little “Oof.” that came from Cas as Dean collided with him, their faces inches apart as Dean tried to get up. “Heya Cas.” He said trying to make light of the situation. Castiel gave him a little smile. “Hello Dean.” Dean had the overwhelming urge to kiss him on the battle field. Dammit Dean! Wrong moment. 

Dean ‘gracefully’ rolled off Cas which earned him another grunt. “Shit sorry.” He winced. Then they got up and resumed killing monsters although Dean could not get his mind off Cas. 

It looked like for a moment they were winning, but Chuck had also noticed and sent another wave of creatures. 

Dean was running out of energy and it looked like everyone else was too. He had to do something. 

“Chuck! You son of a bitch! Coward come down here and fight!” He called up at God. 

Chuck laughed and his army halted with a wave of his hand. Suddenly the angels and demons found that they couldn’t move. “Dean!” Cas called out but Dean’s eyes were focused on Chuck. 

“Oh, what the hell, I can get my hands dirty.” Chuck used his power to bring Sam next to his brother. 

They could both move again. 

Chuck landed the first blow on Sam and Dean cringed but a fist hit him in the face. He could hear Castiel yelling, trying to help him, petrified that he couldn’t while Chuck was beating them to a bloody pulp, Dean’s head was pounding, his arm was broken and he could hear Sam’s cries of pain. But he got up and so did his brother. 

They got up again and again and again, just as they had done many times before. Dean’s body was an auto pilot, Chuck would knock him down and Dean would just get back up. 

Each time Chuck would say “Come on guys that’s enough now, come on guys stop it.” But they didn’t. 

Chuck stomped on his leg and broke it, he yelled in pain. But Sam helped him up this time, he looked in the distance and the sight made him smile, Sam also saw this and began to smile. 

“W-why you laughing?” Chuck demanded. 

Dean looked him straight in the eye. “You lose.” 

Jack advanced his way towards Chuck and Chuck just snapped his fingers, nothing happened. 

He snapped them again and again and again. “What?” He said sounding scared now. “How?” He started backing away from Jack as the boy reached for him. 

“No, No, No-” He stumbled and Jack grabbed his head, Chuck could feel his powers drain as he fell to the floor, his armies melted away and everyone could move again. 

“How?” Chuck whimpered on the ground. 

Jack snapped his fingers and Dean and Sam were healed. 

Dean then proceeded to tell Chuck how they knew Michael would betray them and how Jack, ever since the explosion in the empty had become a power vacuum that had absorbed all the energy that he was exposed to, that also being Chuck’s power when he beat up the Winchester’s and Chucks ignorance and ego had led to his own downfall. 

They left Chuck there, to suffer alone as a human. They didn’t kill him; they were better than that. 

The angels returned to heaven to give it power once more and the demons agreed to stay in hell. 

Much to Crowley’s surprise Dean actually hugged him after being shocked to see him. “That’s nice and all squirrel but I can see your boyfriend getting jealous.” Crowley remarked. 

Dean turned to Castiel and started to walk towards him, this was it, he was going to tell Cas everything. 

“Castiel.” Hannah called to him and Castiel turned around. 

“Hello Hannah.” He greeted. 

“What now? Are you going to return home?” He asked hopefully. 

Dean had seen that they were having a conversation and couldn’t help but feel jealousy so he turned around to go find Sam who was talking to Gabriel. 

“I’m already home, Hannah.” He looked over and smiled at Dean who was getting annoyed at Gabriel's antics. 

“I see.” She said bitterly. “You love him?” 

Castiel nodded. “I do.” 

“Would you ever love me?” 

Castiel looked at her shocked, and cupped her cheek. “Oh Hannah, I’m sorry.” He smiled sadly.

“I understand.” And then she flew off, Castiel sighed. 

Jack brought everyone back, it was as if nothing had ever happened.


	5. Here Comes The Sun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loose ends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is not the end

Two weeks later

Charlie and Stevie decided to get married, Jody and Donna had Claire, Alex, Kaia and Patience and they were known throughout the monster circles as the wayward sisters. 

Jack had brought back Ellen and Jo so naturally Bobby and Ellen had settled down; he had also resurrected Kevin and he went back to college. 

Jack brought back everyone, everyone that was lost, everyone that they couldn't’ save. and said that now he would let the natural order of things take over, no more meddling and getting involved but everyone deserved another chance. 

Mary and John had brought a house in the countryside and were as happy as ever, they were visited by their sons regularly. 

Kaia and Claire decided to start a relationship, Crowley visited his mother in hell where she was genuinely pleased to see him, Gabriel was off god knows where (Most likely with porn stars) and Sam and Eileen had just found out that in 8 months and 2 weeks they were due to have their first child, Sam proposed on a hunt and Eileen has said yes. 

Mary Leahy Winchester was born on the 11th of July 2021 and was adored by her father, mother and many uncles and aunts. “God help the wee lad who breaks her heart.” Auntie Rowena had said as she cooed over the small baby.

The bunker was really no place for a child so Sam moved out once Mary was born and him and Eileen get a nice place, two stories, three bedrooms and two bathrooms, about a ten minute walk from there.

Jack became the new God and fixed heaven, he often popped by to see how his family were doing. 

Even Becky got her happy ending with her husband and kids.

Life was good, it was how it should be. 

Now I bet you’re wondering when I get to Castiel and Dean and also, I bet you’re thinking why are they putting themselves in the narrative, Isn't that an overused trope? It’s because I have run out of ideas and have no idea how to surreptitiously transition to the start of a new story; the story of how Dean and Cas got together which I shall reveal in the next chapter because it’s a complicated and steamy story, it needs more than a few lines and before we get to that, I must get ahead of myself. ;) 

I’m tying up loose ends dammit!


	6. Love Me Do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> smuttt

Now 

Castiel sighed as the flutter of wings ruffled his hair, maybe now that this was all over, he and Dean could have a chance to talk, but that’s what he was dreading. 

Jack had been so happy to have Cas back but he told them all that he couldn’t come back to the bunker, they understood 

Sam, Dean and Castiel made it back to the bunker in silence, half in shock and half in no one really knew what to say. 

Sam had taken a case of beers from the fridge and opened one without saying a word, Dean and Cas did the same. 

“I’m going to bed.” Sam said and Dean snapped out of his trance. 

This was it. 

Castiel noticed a new engraving on the table. “You carved my name into the table?” Castiel questioned. 

“Oh, oh yeah I was uh, well I figured you’d never get to do it yourself so. Yeah.” 

Castiel brimmed with emotion. “Thank you, Dean.” He said tracing his name with his finger. 

“No problem Cas...” 

“Dean.” 

“Cas?” 

“I-.” 

They both stared at each other intensely. 

“About what happened.” Castiel starts to say. 

“How about we talk in my room?” Dean cuts him off. 

Castiel silently follows Dean to his room and as soon as he steps inside, he is pushed against a wall. This was it; Dean was going to start yelling and possibly punching but instead Dean just let out a choked sob and buried his face in Castiel’s coat. “Don’t do that again. Don’t leave me.” 

“I won’t Dean.” 

Dean takes Castiel’s hand and leads him over to the bed where they sit down. Not letting go of Cas’ hand he starts to speak. “Cas, I need you to know now I feel.” 

“I heard your prayer Dean; you don’t need to say anything.” 

Dean squeezed Castiel’s hand. “Yeah, yeah I do.” 

“You know that I- fuck Cas I-.” He struggles to get it out, he’s never told Cas he loves him and he wants it to be perfect. 

Castiel looks intently into his eyes. 

“I love you dammit, so goddamn much.” He gasps out, it felt like a giant weight had been lifted from his shoulders. 

“I should have said it back when you...I should have said it back.” 

“You’re saying it now, Dean.” 

“I know Cas.” 

Without thinking Dean closed the gap between them and Cas let out an “Mmph.” As Dean ravaged his mouth, in turn Castiel recuperated eagerly. 

“I need you Cas.” He said as he desperately pushed Castiel back onto the bed and straddled him. 

Slowly he started to grind against Castiel’s clothed erection like it wasn’t a big deal, well it was certainly a big...deal. 

Castiel huffed in Dean’s ear at the friction. 

Then Dean started to remove Cas’ tie and unbutton his shirt, he didn’t know what he was doing only that he needed to feel more skin on skin, he wanted to feel every inch of Castiel. 

“Take off the coat Cas.” He whispered. “I need to feel you.” 

He hears a woosh and suddenly they were wearing absolutely nothing. “I am so glad you got your mojo back.” He grinned mischievously. 

“Dean...” Cas moaned as their cocks brushed together. 

“Fuck Cas, need you so badly.” He kissed Castiel’s neck and sucked on a point just below his ear which made Cas gasp loudly. Then he started trailing kisses down his chest, he even took a nipple in his mouth and bit down lightly, now that really made Cas moan. 

After every kiss he would whisper. “I love you, I love you.” Castiel had never felt safer. 

He started to press delicate kisses to Castiel’s cock which made him whimper, Dean had never done anything like this before but what the hell. He sucked lightly on the tip and then put Cas’s aching dick in his mouth which drew out an elicit cry of pleasure from the angel’s lips and those only get more intense as he started sucking and bobbing his head up and down faster and faster until Cas’ put a hand on his shoulder and through gritted teeth begged him to stop. “Dean I won’t last much lon-AH-ger. I want to feel you please.” 

As much as he was enjoying pleasuring his angel, he knew that there would be time for that in the future, where he could take Castiel apart slowly until he was a begging mess but for now, they were too far gone, Dean wouldn’t have the patience and neither would Cas’. 

Dean straddled Castiel again, their cock’s rubbing together, he took Castiel’s arms and pinned them above his head as he kissed him passionately. They were both new at this and both trying to hold as much of each other as they can. The friction of their dicks felt heavenly but Dean and Cas both wanted more. 

Then Dean got off him which made him whine. “Calm down Cas I’m getting something.” He reached into his draw franticly searching so he could get back to what he was doing. 

“Aha!” He exclaimed and pulled out a bottle of lube. 

Then he looked Castiel in the eye. “We doing this Cas?” He asked. Castiel just nodded his head. Dean got on top of him again and bit his ear. “I need a yes or no answer angel.” 

“Yes! Yes, Dean please need to feel you ah- inside me.” 

“Tell me if it hurts ok Cas?” Dean looked serious. 

“Impossible.” 

Dean slicked up his fingers with lube and but some around Cas’s hole, he started penetrating him by using one finger and Cas breathed deeply as the first finger went in. Slowly Dean started to move it in and out. 

“Fuck Cas so tight.” Dean purred. 

Then he added another finger, and another until he knew for sure that Castiel was ready. 

“I’m gonna go slow, ok Cas?” He said as he nudged Cas’ entrance with his dick. 

Slowly he pushed in, Cas could feel every inch of him and when Dean bottomed out, he groaned and swept Cas up in another kiss. 

“Move Dean.” He said grabbing Dean’s arm. 

And he did, deeper, harder and faster with each thrust till they were both a mess, both moving in tandem overwhelmed by this moment. 

What Dean didn’t expect was to find Cas’ prostate so soon. 

Castiel gasped again and dug his fingers into Dean’s back. “Dean ah-h do that again!” Dean copied his last movement hitting Cas’ prostate again and again. 

“Fuck, Fuck Dean.” Castiel rarely swore and Dean was just uncovering a new kink, he buried his face in the angel’s shoulder and moaned. “You keep talking dirty angel and you’re gonna turn me into a one-pump-chump.” He chuckled. 

Cas’ legs were wrapped around dean’s waist pulling him closer with each thrust, one hand was gripping the bedsheets and the other in Dean’s hair. 

Between the friction of Dean’s stomach rubbing against his dick and his prostate being nailed again and again Cas’ knew that he couldn't last much longer and Dean wasn’t fairing any better. 

“Nnhg- Dean I’m-” 

“Me too Cas. So close so fucking close.” Dean felt his impending orgasm, the tell-tale tingle at the base of his cock resonating in his balls. 

He reached a hand in-between them to stroke Castiel’s flushed, pre-cum covered cock and Cas moaned loudly, he thrust faster and faster holding off his orgasm so that Cas could come first. 

“Dean! Dean! I- ahh! Dean!” Castiel sobbed loudly as his balls drew up and felt impossibly tight, he felt a tingle in the base of his dick, it got more and more acute and then he came hard, shaking with the full force of his orgasm, Dean nailed his prostate one more time and he seized up and cried out as his cock spurted another load of come between their bodies reigniting his already powerful orgasm making him arch his back and throw back his head as he yelled Dean’s name. 

“Jesus Fuck Cas, I have never seen someone come that much, not even in porn.” The manor of Castiel’s release made Dean forget about his own because now Cas’ O face was etched into his mind, how was he ever supposed to get anything done now? 

He removed his hand from Cas’ spent cock which was now sensitive and starting to soften. 

Dean started to pull out so he could finish himself off but Castiel pulled him flush against his body making him grunt. “Inside me.” Castiel managed to pant out. 

“You sure Cas’? I mean you're barely conscious.” It’s true that Castiel’s brain was swimming in some amazing post orgasmic chemicals but he was persistent, he needed dean to claim him. 

Dean thrust in trying to avoid Cas’ prostate, poor guy might stroke out. 

He could feel his orgasm building up again and he desperately grasped at Castiel and his movements became more uncalculated and shallower. Dean lost all self-control, seized up and slammed into Cas which made Cas’ flail and gasp because of the sensitivity, but Dean kept pushing in and pulling out, Cas didn’t dare tell Dean to stop and finally, hip’s stuttering and moaning loudly Dean came and collapsed onto Castiel. 

Dean rolled onto his side of the bed trying to catch his breath. “Fuck. Just fuck.” He gasped looked over to Castiel and seeing that he was equally debauched. 

“Agreed.” 

“I love you so much.” He told Castiel again just encase he hadn’t heard it the first fifteen times. 

“I love you Dean.” Castiel smiled, he had never felt so loved before. 

They both fell asleep in each other's arms, as they would do so for the rest of their lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aww aren't happy endings so cheesy? I've decided to leave it here because I am working on another fanfiction and I have problems with committing to writing, I lost my motivation for this fanfiction


End file.
